By: William Jones

There is a simple idea that is easy to overlook. Habits are either working for someone or against them. There is no neutral ground.

Every day, through small repeated actions, a person reinforces the identity they are becoming. The future is not shaped by grand gestures or dramatic decisions. It is shaped by what someone consistently does when no one is watching and nothing feels particularly significant.

This is the foundation of Stephen Childs’ approach to high performance. As an executive coach, leadership strategist, and author whose work sits at the intersection of neuroscience and sustainable success, Childs has spent two decades helping executives, entrepreneurs, and high-performing professionals build the internal systems that support meaningful, sustained growth. And the insight that runs through everything he teaches is deceptively simple.

“The challenge for most high-performing individuals is not a lack of ambition,” says Childs, whose coaching practice at Neuro Executive Coaching works with leaders at every level of an organization. “It is a lack of structure. There is a tendency to rely on motivation, even though motivation is inherently inconsistent. It comes and goes, often influenced by factors outside of a person’s control. Consistency is built differently. It is built through systems and repeatable actions that do not depend on how someone feels in the moment.”

This is why goals, on their own, rarely produce lasting change. James Clear captured it precisely: you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. What matters most is not what someone plans to achieve but what they consistently do. And what they consistently do is almost always determined by the habits quietly running in the background of their daily life.

The Pattern That Changed Everything

During his time in an executive coaching program at Columbia University, Childs began to notice a pattern that would reshape how he approaches leadership development entirely.

The individuals who made meaningful progress were not necessarily the most experienced or the most ambitious in the room. They were the ones who could identify a simple habit and sustain it over time. The ones who could not, regardless of their intelligence or drive, consistently struggled to translate intention into lasting change.

One client stands out in particular. She was an accomplished leader with a strong track record, yet she felt stuck. Her team was disengaged, her schedule felt overwhelming, and despite her considerable expertise, the results were not aligning with her expectations.

Rather than introducing a complex development strategy, Childs focused on one habit. Pause before responding. Each time she received an email, a request, or a challenge, she gave herself sixty seconds. A brief moment to breathe, to think, and to choose her response with intention rather than react automatically.

Within weeks, the shift became noticeable. Her communication changed. Her presence became more grounded. Her team began to respond differently to her. What appeared to be a small and almost trivial adjustment created a meaningful ripple effect across her entire leadership style.

“That is what one intentional habit can do,” Childs says. “It does not just change the behavior. It begins to change the identity.”

When the Lesson Becomes Personal

Around that same period, Childs encountered a version of this lesson in his own life that he has since shared with many of the leaders he coaches.

One evening, his daughter told him something that stayed with him. She explained that while she appreciated his effort to help, she did not always feel heard. It was a moment that required honest reflection. Childs realized he had developed a strong habit of moving quickly into problem-solving mode. In a professional setting, that instinct is valuable. In a personal relationship, it creates distance.

So he made a deliberate change. He committed to listening without interrupting, without offering immediate solutions, without rushing to fix. Just being present, asking thoughtful questions, and allowing space for the conversation to unfold.

Over time, the impact was significant. Conversations became more meaningful. Trust deepened. And he was reminded of something he now shares consistently in his coaching work and in his book Just Be Undeniable: leadership, at work and at home, is often less about providing answers and more about creating the conditions for others to find their own.

Why One Habit Is Enough to Start

A single habit can feel too small to matter. It can seem insignificant compared to larger goals and long-term ambitions. But Childs argues that this perception is precisely what causes most people to overcomplicate change and ultimately abandon it.

“The real value is not just in the habit itself,” he explains. “It is in what the habit reinforces. When someone consistently follows through on one intentional behavior, they begin to build trust in themselves. They demonstrate through action, not just intention, that change is possible. And that belief has a way of extending beyond one area and influencing everything else.”

Over time, a person relies less on external motivation and more on internal discipline. They begin to create momentum rather than wait for it. Small actions accumulate, often in ways that are not immediately visible, but deeply impactful over months and years.

For anyone wondering where to begin, Childs offers a simple starting point. Reflect honestly on whether daily habits are aligned with the person you want to become. If there is a gap, the solution is not to set more ambitious goals. It is to design a system that supports consistent action. Choose one habit, keep it simple enough to sustain but meaningful enough to matter, and commit to it not only when it is convenient but especially when it requires effort.

Lasting change rarely comes from a single defining moment. It is built through small, consistent actions that, over time, shape both behavior and identity.

More about Stephen Childs’ work in executive coaching and leadership development, including his coaching programs and the Undeniable community, is available through his LinkedIn profile and the Neuro Executive Coaching website.