By: Jasmine Fisher

“You can be in these places where you’re just at each other and you can’t get through it—and with just some simple structures, you can often turn that around,” said Mike Moore on Last First Date Radio.

That realization didn’t come easily. Before co-founding Couples.Solutions, Mike Moore and Robin Temple were two people learning to blend their lives and families. What started with hope gradually led to friction—from parenting differences to clashing lifestyles. But instead of walking away, they chose to explore a more challenging path: learning how to engage in a relationship constructively.

From Divorce to Discovery

Both Robin and Mike had been married before. Their previous marriages ended in difficulty, and they were motivated to avoid repeating similar patterns.

“I certainly, like many people, had questions about how that came to be and had limited self-awareness about my part in the breakdown,” Robin admitted. That curiosity led her back to school to study marriage and family therapy. However, academic knowledge alone didn’t provide all the answers.

“I just knew that what I was getting in school wasn’t giving me the insights I was looking for,” she said. “So I pursued three eight-day training sessions, totaling 24 days.” The program was PAIRS—Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills. While Robin was eager for solutions, Mike approached the training with some hesitation.

“I was somewhere between nervous and uncertain,” Mike said. “Robin as a therapist had many suggestions on how I could be a better partner… and the fact is she was often right, which didn’t make it easier to accept.”

The Turning Point: Learning Skills That Have Helped

To his surprise, the training brought significant change. “We were the only couple, so we volunteered to model all the tools,” Mike recalled. “For the first time, I felt like Robin really heard and respected my perspective—not necessarily agreeing with it, but understanding it came from a caring place.”

Robin agreed. “I became more aware of the ways I was undermining and contentious in my communication, my defensiveness, my need to be right, and my self-righteousness.” The training didn’t just introduce new tools; it fostered renewed respect. They eventually became Master Teachers and Trainers of PAIRS, building a life together—workshops, retreats, and over 30 years of marriage.

Maintaining Connection While Honoring Autonomy

One impactful lesson they share is how couples can maintain their individuality while staying connected.

“Everything’s a negotiation now,” Mike said. “And meeting that requires some skill and having other supportive communities.”

Robin described a visual tool called the Power Gram: “It helps couples map out areas of power and decision-making. Where do our responsibilities overlap? Where do we maintain autonomy? What decisions do we need to make together?”

Both emphasize that autonomy is not opposed to intimacy. Mutual respect and self-care are often essential components.

Turning Differences Into Opportunities

Mike and Robin are quite different. “Robin’s a founder of a local Waldorf school, very nurturing and protective. I come from a Midwestern ethos valuing self-reliance,” Mike shared.

Even small differences—like Robin being more relaxed and Mike preferring order—used to cause daily tension. “At some point I realized, Maybe this is just my role in the relationship. Maybe this is my assignment,” Mike reflected.

This mindset shift, along with simple practices like expressing daily gratitude, has become a cornerstone of their approach. “We suggest couples take a moment each day to express specific gratitude toward one another,” Mike said.

A Commitment to Continued Growth

As Robin expressed, “While relationships can feel like a complex and sometimes difficult area, with straightforward tools and the right support, navigating them becomes more manageable.”

The couple continues to share what they’ve learned—not just from theory but through lived experience. “Even our kids say, if two people as different as us can build a life together, there’s reason for hope,” Robin said.

Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and does not replace professional advice. Readers experiencing relationship challenges are encouraged to seek guidance from qualified therapists or counselors.