By: Lauren Mitchell
For many widows, the death of a husband brings not only overwhelming grief but also a surge of financial confusion and vulnerability. Questions arise almost immediately: Do I have enough to live on? Can I trust anyone to guide me? What should I do with this life insurance check? Too often, in the fog of grief, widows find themselves vulnerable to exploitation.
Debra Morrison, CFP® and Grief Coach, has dedicated her career to helping women navigate this challenging time. Though she is not a widow herself, she has spent decades assisting grieving women, helping them process their loss while managing the unfamiliar terrain of finances. Her book, My Husband Died, Now What?: A Widow’s Guide to Grief Recovery & Smart Financial Decisions, was inspired by both compassion and frustration—and from one unforgettable case that significantly influenced her career.
The Moment That Sparked the Book
Debra had already worked with many widows, but one case affected her deeply. A woman she refers to as “Betty” had been sold a variable annuity that was completely unsuitable for her needs by a so-called “friend”—a fellow church member who was also an insurance agent. Betty, still struggling with the loss of her husband, had mentioned needing money to replace her car and make urgent home repairs. Instead of addressing her needs, he focused on her fear, asking, “You don’t want to take any risk with this money, do you?” Through tears, she responded, “No.” He then convinced her to transfer her entire death benefit into an annuity with severe withdrawal penalties.
When Betty came to Debra months later, she was devastated. “How could he do this to me? He was our friend!” she sobbed. Debra, deeply upset by the betrayal, took up the case—working pro bono for 13 months, handling paperwork, depositions, and even dealing with the state Insurance Commission. Eventually, she succeeded: Betty received her original deposit plus interest, while the agent was charged back $68,000 in commissions!
That victory marked a pivotal moment. “I knew then that women HAD to be warned,” Debra recalls. Her book now serves as both a protective guide and a practical resource for widows—helping them avoid predatory sales practices while providing steps for emotional recovery.
Shattering Misconceptions About Grief
In her role as a Certified Grief Coach, Debra also noticed how poorly society understands grief. One of the most harmful misconceptions, she argues, is the idea that “time heals all wounds.” “Time alone does not heal grief,” she explains. “Just as time won’t heal a broken tibia, grief recovery requires intentional steps, tools, and support.”
Her book offers strategies and exercises to help widows accept their new reality and release lingering shame or guilt. She stresses that grief is highly individual—no one moves through the stages in a neat, predictable order. Above all, she urges those supporting widows to refrain from judgment. “The grieving process is not the time for finger-pointing. It’s the time for listening.”
Avoiding Costly Mistakes
Debra warns that widows often make hasty, costly decisions in the early months of grief. Common missteps include rushing to pay off a mortgage, relocating to be closer to children, or entrusting their inheritance to a broker without a clear plan. Each of these choices can lead to tax consequences or impose unnecessary financial burdens and long-term setbacks.
That’s why she recommends a six-month “No Decision Zone.” During this period, widows should focus solely on grieving—not selling homes, not investing lump sums, and not making irreversible commitments. When emotions are heightened, decision-making can be impaired. Only after the fog of grief has begun to lift can clear financial planning become viable.
Feedback That Fuels Her Mission
For Debra, the most meaningful validation has come from the widows she works with. Even before her book was published, she shared an early draft with a high school classmate who had been widowed three times. That friend read the manuscript overnight and emailed her at dawn, saying, “On page __, you nailed it. On page __, this was absolutely my experience.”
“I wept when I read her message,” Debra recalls. “There is nothing more rewarding for an author than knowing your words brought comfort and relief to someone in pain.”
Advice for Children Supporting Their Widowed Parent
Debra’s guidance extends not only to widows but also to their families. She cautions children against rushing to clean out their father’s belongings too soon. “There is deep comfort in smelling his cologne on a shirt or resting against his pillow,” she explains. Preserving these sensory connections helps the widow process her loss at her own pace.
She also encourages children to handle death notifications, ensure healthy food and hydration are available, and provide daily support calls after the funeral. “Crying depletes hydration and electrolytes,” Debra notes, “so even something as simple as sugar-free Gatorade can help.” Small acts of care, consistency, and presence can have a significant impact in those early weeks.
A Larger Movement Toward Empowerment
Debra views My Husband Died, Now What? as part of a larger movement toward women’s financial empowerment. She hopes widows will form study groups to read and discuss the book together, combining emotional healing with practical financial planning. She also created the accompanying Reflections Journal for either individual or group use. Beyond widowhood, her work also focuses on addressing systemic issues: the financial disempowerment of women, the gender pay gap, the exploitation of vulnerable groups, and the cultural silence around grief.
A Legacy of Hope and Clarity
At the heart of Debra’s mission is a dual purpose: to honor the grief journey while helping prevent financial exploitation. By recommending that widows seek a Fiduciary CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, she gives them access to trusted guidance—free from product sales, commissions, or hidden fees. And by speaking openly about grief, she helps women find both acceptance and strength.
Her book is more than just a guide; it’s a lifeline. It gives widows permission to grieve, tools to protect their finances, and the reassurance that they are not alone. Through My Husband Died, Now What?, Debra has taken her decades of expertise and turned it into a valuable resource for women at one of the most vulnerable times in their lives.
As she puts it simply: “Grief and finances may collide, but with compassion, patience, and wise counsel, widows can move forward with dignity, clarity, and hope.”
For more information about My Husband Died, Now What?: A Widow’s Guide to Grief Recovery & Smart Financial Decisions, or to purchase the book, visit Amazon.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or emotional advice. Readers are encouraged to seek professional counsel regarding their specific circumstances before making any financial or personal decisions.
